


I Just Want a Life That Seems a Little Bit Better Than a Dream

by I_Swear_Its_Just_Me



Series: I Just Want a Life That Seems a Little Bit Better Than a Dream [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Amber and Cyrus are brotp, Angst, Everyone's 16 bc I said so, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, TJ and Amber are Soft™, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author is Trying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-10-02 07:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17259767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Swear_Its_Just_Me/pseuds/I_Swear_Its_Just_Me
Summary: It's fine. He'll be fine. Right? He can be happy for his friends. He's not selfish.Alternatively: Cyrus has been neglected by his friends one too many timesTitle from: Gotta Let Go by Hollywood Undead(What better way to kick off 2019 than to write angst about a children's show, right?)





	1. Chapter 1

Cyrus woke up to his alarm. He didn't want to get up, but he turned off his alarm and rolled out of bed anyway. He didn't bother with making his bed, instead moved to his dresser, grabbing out a pair of jeans and the first t-shirt he saw, which was a dark blue, plain cotton tee. Simple, but still worked for him. He threw on a light blue hoodie that may have been Buffy's at one point and made his way to the bathroom.

Cyrus avoided the mirror as much as possible while he brushed his teeth, and even still when he ran a comb through his hair. Which would seem difficult, right? Not for him. He's managed to effectively style his hair without a mirror since he was around 13, due to a severe lack of self-esteem and dysmorphia.

He finished up in the bathroom and made his way downstairs, to look through the doorway of the kitchen to see all four of his parents milling about. His moms were sitting at the breakfast nook, sipping coffee and eating perfectly toasted bagels with cream cheese on them, while his step-dad was leaning against the counter by the kettle on the stove, sipping tea and looking through the comics section of the newspaper. His dad was rifling through the fridge aimlessly. They were all talking about some recent brain study that, once upon a time, Cyrus would have listened to with rapt attention, but presently couldn't bring himself to care about. Or interrupt.

Cyrus kept walking down the hallway, now attempting to avoid his parents, and makes it past his parents without them noticing. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, and continued into the foyer, where he slipped on a pair of sneakers. He grabbed his car keys off the hook by the door and his backpack and made his way to the driveway, where his car was, and unlocked it.

He tossed his backpack into the passenger seat, turning on the car. It was a bit chilly out since winter was right around the corner, so he waited for it to warm up a bit in the car before he started on his way. Buffy and Jonah hated the cold. Speaking of Buffy, she was first up on his pick-up list. Then Andi, Jonah, and finally, TJ. They all had their licenses, but only he had a car. Andi had her mo-ped, or whatever the hell that thing was, but she didn't like riding it during the cold seasons, so that left either him or the buses for transportation. Apparently, he was the obvious choice. Why he was what they chose was a mystery to him. Probably because his car didn't smell like a dirty locker room.

Cyrus pulled out his phone and connected it to the car via aux cable, and started playing Fall Out Boy. He drove for a few minutes, finally pulling up in front of Buffy's house. He didn't even have to honk before Buffy was bolting out the door. She all but threw open the passenger side door and slid into the car beside him. She was practically vibrating with excitement.

He looked at her with his eyebrows raised, waiting for her to tell him what she was excited about, and sure enough: 

"Walker and I totally kissed last night on our date. Like, a lot. Holy shit." She squealed, making Cyrus cringe a little. He pulled out of her driveway and continued the drive to Andi's.

"Oh yeah?" Cyrus pulled on his mask, smiling like he was genuinely happy for her. He was getting good at this. He didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing.

"Yeah! He took me to the movies, and we held hands during it-and his hands are super soft, like woah-and then after the movie he took me to The Spoon, and okay, not the most original, but it was sweet anyway, and apparently I had a little chocolate milkshake on my face, cuz he like totally leaned forward and brushed it away, and then he had this absolutely adorable smile and-" She squealed again, making Cyrus cringe yet again. "And then he kissed me! And it was just... Wow, you know?"

Her rant had taken up the time between hers and Andi's houses, and he pulled up to the curb of Andi's apartment. He nodded with a wide, but extremely fake smile. She didn't know it was fake, though. Of course she didn't. He honked twice, and Andi walked out of the apartment in a hurry, looking like she had just woken up. Her hair wasn't even brushed.

She hopped into the backseat, scooted to the middle seat, and sighed. "My alarm didn't go off this morning..." She muttered.

Cyrus opened up the center console and pulled out a hairbrush, handing it to her. She smiled widely at him, beginning to brush her hair. "God, you're such a life-saver, Cy." She then shifted her attention to Buffy. "Oh, Buffy, how was your date with Walker?"

Buffy launched into the story again, but Cyrus tuned her out, focusing on the lyrics to the music, which had been playing this entire time, but Buffy's voice had drowned out the lyrics. It wasn't too long from Andi's apartment to Jonah's house, though, and Buffy wasn't even finished with the retelling of her story by the time he was pulling up to Jonah's. He had to honk at least five times before Jonah rushed out, headphones askew over his head. He slid into the car behind Cyrus, with a relieved smile.

"Sorry Cy-guy. I was listening to music and didn't hear you at first." 

Cyrus shot him a (fake) smile in the rear-view mirror, responding with "Nah, you're good."

Next up was TJ, who lived closest to school out of all of them, but still far enough to need a ride. Buffy finished up her story about her date, while Andi leaned forward and put the brush back into the center console. The other three made small talk while Cyrus tuned them out yet again. There had been a time where Cyrus would be scandalized at not listening to every story his friends had and would hang onto every word, hoping for... What exactly, he hadn't known then. But now, he couldn't bring himself to care. He hadn't really cared since before he'd turned 15. And that was because they'd never cared too deeply about his dilemmas.

Who would, though? He wasn't even the main character in his own story. Why? Because he let everyone come before him, and didn't object to being put last. He was there during the rockier times in Andi and Jonah's relationship, which had been a real pain. Trying to navigate his crush on Jonah while helping Andi with her relationship with said crush had been really difficult. He was there during the drama between Andi and Buffy over Walker. He was there for Jonah when he had his panic attacks and the whole Ultimate Frisbee-transition-to-tennis issue. He helped TJ realize his potential and find a friend group that wouldn't pressure him to do dangerous things and encouraged him to get help for his dyscalculia, which was really helping TJ. And now they all got along swimmingly. Thanks to him.

But he didn't get any thanks for all that stuff. No reward for being the rock everyone built their houses on. Nothing. But he felt selfish when he thought of them like that. Like they were taking advantage of him because they were selfish. After all, he'd never mentioned having an issue with it. But why would he? He was their support system. Support Systems were powerhouses. They can't just collapse. It was his job to shape up and show up and be there for them. He should be there for his friends, without expecting any recognition for it. He knew that. But it still hurt when he didn't even get a thank you. Like he was supposed to carry their baggage, without any complaints. That was fine though. Right? That's how things worked. Right? Altruistic Cyrus Goodman, don't bother thanking him. He'll handle all your problems for you, no charge.

God he was so tired. So, so, so tired.

He pulled up to TJ's house, and TJ was already at the end of the driveway, waiting. He got in the car, behind Buffy, and jumped into the conversation easily. Cyrus was jealous. He could never do that. TJ glanced up at him in the rear-view mirror and gave him a little smile. Cyrus smiled back with a certain barely contained strain behind the action. His grip tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles going pink, and then white. He shifted his gaze back to the road, letting the smile drop, and drove the rest of the way to the school.

He didn't notice the confused and worried expression on TJ's face as the blond continued to watch him.

 

***

 

The school day dragged. The only saving grace being Amber. He'd become much closer to her over the years, despite Andi and Buffy not trusting her. Actually, Amber may have been his only support for the past couple of years. With his friends always busy with themselves and their relationships, and his parents seemingly always busy with work, or too tired to confide in, Amber had stepped up to bat. And she was a godsend. Seriously. She was as sensitive as him, shared his views on many things, and he even thought that sometimes she could genuinely read his mind. 

He'd taken to sitting with her at lunch. Andi and Buffy still hadn't noticed. And if they did, they didn't say anything. He was pretty sure they just didn't notice his absence though. Why would they? They were too stuck on themselves.

He sat down at Amber's and his usual table, and she joined him not too long after, lunch tray in hand. She saw his lack of a tray and frowned, sitting down. "Cyrus. Have you eaten today?"

Cyrus folded his arms on the table and rested his chin on them, letting out a sigh. "No." It was quiet, and he was surprised she could hear him over the noise of the cafeteria.

She let out a sigh almost as heavy as his and shook her head. "Did you look in the mirror this morning? Or is it just one of those days?"

Cyrus shrugged and hid his face further in his arms. He heard her stand up but didn't look up. She returned a few minutes later and all but slammed a tray in front of him. He finally looked up to see her looking right back at him with her best Mom Look™. He looked to the tray and saw a small salad on the tray. He glared at it as if it had kicked his puppy.

"Cyrus, you need to eat. And don't worry about wasting my money, I used your lunch code to get it. It's a small salad. I would've gotten you soup, but there wasn't any up there. So... Eat your salad, skinny ass."

Amber sat down and began eating her lunch, which looked like a turkey and bell pepper wrap, paired with low-fat plain salted chips and strawberry milk. She'd gotten him strawberry milk too. He offered a small smile. It didn't reach his eyes, but he hoped she knew how much this meant to him. 

"Thank you, Amber." She nodded in response.

He picked up the plastic fork and took it out of its packaging, stabbing at the salad. It was an ice burg lettuce salad, which he was fine with. Spinach was awful, especially at their school. He took a bite of it, noting that it had either been made with light Italian dressing or Amber had put it on for him. Either way, the salad was actually pretty good. He managed to get it all down before the bell rang, and Amber walked him to his next period class, which was science. Her physics class was right next door, so it wasn't like she was going out of her way. She glanced at the physics door and made a face, which made Cyrus laugh a little. Amber shot him a half-hearted glare before a smile broke through.

She gave him a quick hug before she adjusted her bag on her shoulder and walked into her class. He stood in his spot for a moment before taking a deep breath and walking into his own class. 

This was a class he shared with TJ, although they couldn't talk during it. Not like TJ would want to, probably. The lab pairs were alphabetical by last name, and Cyrus was paired with a girl he couldn't remember the name of (Marilyn? Marina? Something with an M). She didn't seem to remember his name either, so he felt a little less guilty. TJ's partner was-surprise surprise-a "popular" girl with an obvious lack of brains (Jenny? Yanni?). He had to do most of the lab work himself, apparently, because she was too worried about ruining her cuticles or something like that. That was one of the things Cyrus had caught in a conversation on the drive home a week or two ago. TJ looked constantly annoyed around her. 

For the bell work, there was an imbalanced chemical equation that needed to be balanced, which was something he'd learned to do in the 8th grade, but whatever. He finished rather quickly. His lab partner (maybe it was Melanie?) came in a few minutes later, just before the second bell sounded. She collapsed into the seat beside him and let out a sigh.

"These again?" She muttered this while grabbing out a notebook and a ballpoint pen, jotting down the date and the problem, and then solving it just as quickly. On the cover of her notebook was "Maple" in delicate, curving scrawl. So that's what her name was. No wonder why he hadn't known it. Mid-length red hair with startlingly dark blue eyes and a spattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks, she honestly looked like something right out of a Disney movie. He fought the urge to shudder. He didn't trust perfect people. She seemed to notice him staring at her because she turned her head just a little to face him better, flashing a tight smile that showed off pearly white teeth. He tried to muster up a smile, but it probably looked more like someone had hit him in the face with a baseball bat. She looked away again, and so did he. She made him feel self-conscious. Well, he always felt self-conscious, but looking at this Disney princess of a teenager made that self-consciousness worse.

Why couldn't he just be a normal, functioning human being? Oh yeah, that's right. Because he's not. He's fucked up in the head, and it didn't even matter that he had four therapists for parents. They dealt with everyone else's issues to the point that it drained them of their energy, to where when he needed a consultant on an issue, they were too tired to help him.

"Maybe later, Cyrus." Was a phrase he'd grown accustomed to hearing.

God, he hated that phrase. He was even starting to hate his own name.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus's life is a cycle... Sort of.

The day finished without anything remarkable happening. TJ and Buffy had their separate basketball teams to practice with, so that left Jonah and Andi in the back seat. Together. Cooing over each other quietly, kissing, and acting like they weren't going to see each other tomorrow. It made Cyrus want to vomit.

He dropped them both off at Jonah's, per their requests, and drove the rest of the way home. He didn't play music.

He went upstairs and did his homework. He came down for dinner when he was called. He picked at his lasagna and tuned his parents out. They didn't ask about his day. He went upstairs. He showered, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and got into bed.

He woke up with a headache and took some Aleve. Other than that, his morning went as usual. Get ready, avoid his parents, pick up his friends, go to school, attempt to pay attention, take notes. Lunch with Amber (he got his own food this time), finish the school day with nothing too remarkable to note. Well, minus TJ asking to come over.

TJ had approached him between classes and asked him. Cyrus couldn't understand why. He agreed nonetheless. TJ had beamed at him and continued to his own class, while Cyrus had stood there in the middle of the hallway, wondering what that was about until he couldn't see TJ anymore, and then made his way to his English class.

He could already tell he'd regret letting TJ over.

***

After dropping off the others at Buffy's house for some double-date movie-night thing, Cyrus drove home. TJ sat in the front passenger seat. It was making Cyrus a little uncomfortable. TJ seemed to radiate sunshine, and it was hurting Cyrus's eyes. Cyrus felt like he'd smother that light if he let TJ get too close. He felt as if he was darkness. He was nighttime, and TJ was daytime. Two opposites that should never meet. TJ was happiness and light, and Cyrus was despair and dark. Cyrus was rain clouds, and TJ was a brilliant rainbow.

They weren't meant to be friends. 

Cyrus parked and grabbed his backpack, getting out of the car. After TJ got out, Cyrus locked the car and led him inside. They took off their shoes and went upstairs into Cyrus's room.

Cyrus all but threw his backpack onto the floor and flopped on his bed. "So... What do you want to do?"

TJ smiled at him again and gestured to the TV and Wii in the corner. "Mario Kart?"

Cyrus raised his eyebrows at TJ questioningly before getting up and turning on the TV and Wii system. There was a layer of dust over everything, as Cyrus never used the TV. Cyrus almost wanted to laugh. It was just like him. 

He grabbed the Wii remotes off of the TV stand and tossed one to TJ, who caught it flawlessly. Cyrus turned his own on, before flopping in the blue bean bag chair in front of the TV. TJ sat in the purple one a bit more gracefully.

They played Mario Kart for a while without talking, until after the third time TJ lost. TJ looked at him and smiled. "You're really good at this... How?"

Cyrus shrugged. "Used to play it by myself a lot. Guess I didn't get the memo about the stereotypes."

"What stereotypes?"

"Y'know, the ones where gay men can't drive."

TJ burst out laughing at that, and a small smile formed on Cyrus's face. He missed making TJ laugh. They hadn't really hung out one-on-one in a long time.

TJ stopped laughing a little bit after, wiping at his eyes. "Oh my- I forgot how funny you are."

Cyrus's smile widened just a fraction.

***

They played another few rounds, this time talking about school. TJ had gone from failing math to an 83, which was pretty impressive, all things considered. Cyrus let TJ beat him on one or two rounds. He suspected TJ knew, but TJ seemed happy enough either playing dumb or just simply being unaware.

TJ got a text halfway through Rainbow Road. "Oh shit... Got to go, mom wants me home." TJ pulled a face at that. "This was fun though. Thanks for letting me come over."

Cyrus couldn't help his disappointment, but also felt a weird sense of relief at TJ leaving. "Do you need a ride?"

"No, my mom's coming to pick me up."

Cyrus nodded, standing up and stretching. TJ did the same. TJ collected his stuff and made his way downstairs, Cyrus trailing after him. After TJ got his shoes on, he looked at Cyrus hesitantly. He took a small step towards Cyrus, his arms moving upwards a few inches from his sides, before falling back down. He scratched the back of his head, frowning just a little. Cyrus simply raised an eyebrow at TJ's antsy-ness. TJ opened his mouth as if to say something but a honk sounding from outside stopped him from saying whatever he was going to say. He let out a little sigh before opening the front door. Cyrus held it open, watching as TJ got in his mom's car. TJ's mom waved at him, and Cyrus waved back. He stood there leaning against the doorframe until the car was out of sight.

***

"Did you finally tell him?"

"Tell him what?" TJ's mom rolled her eyes.

"TJ, you've been smitten with the boy since you were 14. Are you really going to ask me 'tell him what'?"

"Mom, he's just a friend. Besides, I don't think he's in a good place right now. Mentally, anyway."

"So put on your armor and rescue the damn prince from the dragon's tower, Teej."

TJ groaned in annoyance, refusing to admit that that was what he'd been trying to do today. Help Cyrus, that is.

***

Cyrus sighed and made his way up to his room. He needed a nap. Well, do his homework, and then take a nap. And he did just that. 

He was woken up about an hour later by his step-mom telling him dinner was ready. He got up and went downstairs, sitting at the table and eating. It was some casserole that his dad had found the recipe to online and decided to make.

His parents didn't ask about his day.

Cyrus went upstairs and took a shower, staring at his razor for maybe a bit longer than what one would consider healthy.

Cyrus avoided wearing shorts for a reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Not too much angst yet, I guess... And like the tags suggest, I may decide to have this story have a happy ending... I kinda came up with the idea for this story in a dream (weird, right?), and I only really vaguely dreamt the first chapter. 
> 
> Also, I'm writing this on mobile and have no idea how to center the asterisks. These thingies ***. Does anyone else know how?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ wants to break the cycle of neglect. Cyrus wants to be left alone. Or does he?
> 
> Meanwhile, Buffy, Andi, and Jonah seem to be getting more distant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Writing a chapter book with more than two chapters? It's more likely than you think.

Cyrus didn't like this. At all.

Andi and Jonah had slept over at Buffy's, and they'd all gotten a ride to school on the bus.

Meaning it was just Cyrus and TJ. Alone in the car. And Cyrus did. Not. Like. It.

It's not that it was particularly terrible, in fact, it was kind of nice. But the niceness of it was what was bothering Cyrus. He didn't deserve niceness.

Let's rewind a bit.

 

Cyrus had woken up, gotten dressed (in a maroon cable knit sweater and a pair of semi-flare jeans, if anyone wanted to know), and checked his messages. It was Jonah who had sent him the text that they'd gotten a ride. That would've made 13-year-old Cyrus swoon, but 16-year-old Cyrus just shrugged, continued getting ready, and set off for TJ's house. TJ had been waiting at the end of his driveway, as per usual. But unusually, he was holding a small tray. When he'd gotten in the car, his smile nearly blinded Cyrus. When Cyrus's eyes no longer hurt, he figured out what the tray was for. 

Sitting in the tray were two gloriously oversized chocolate-chocolate-chip muffins. TJ gently picked one up out of the tray and held it out for Cyrus, who tentatively took it. If it were him with the tray, he most definitely would not have shared. TJ picked up the other one and took a bite, dorky smile somehow still intact as he chewed. Cyrus stared at his own muffin, bewildered (and if his cheeks turned a little pink, TJ didn't comment on it).

After another few moments, TJ stopped eating his muffin and questioned why Cyrus wasn't eating his own.

"I just... It looks too good to eat." TJ laughed at that.

"Well come on, Cyrus, you gotta eat something."

Cyrus didn't mention that he was used to skipping at least one meal a day, if not all of them. He took a small bite of his muffin before pulling away from the curb and continuing to drive to school.

After a minute or two, TJ took out his phone and plugged it into the car, putting on Fall Out Boy. Cyrus's jaw, if it had not been busy chewing his muffin, would have hit the floor. 

What was happening? TJ remembered his favorite muffin, his favorite music, and was even singing along softly to 'I Don't Care'.

 

Now that we're back to the present, Cyrus was having an internal freak-out. Why was TJ like this? Why did he remember something Cyrus had said a little over 3 years ago? And had he really paid enough attention to Cyrus to figure out his favorite band? Not that it would be that difficult... He had a poster or two hung up in his room and always listened to them on the way to school, after all.

No, no, no, calm down, Cyrus scolded himself. These are just coincidences. TJ probably likes FOB too, after all, they are great. And the muffins are pretty popular, too. No need to get so worked up about it.

Yeah, that was it. Just pure coincidences. 

A small, pitiful voice in the back of his head really hoped they weren't, though.

 

Before long, they were at school. TJ had long since finished his muffin, and Cyrus was finishing off the last bite of his own as they pulled into the parking lot. TJ parted ways with him with a wave and that same dazzling, dorky smile he'd had earlier. Cyrus barely had time to appreciate it though, as TJ not only disappeared into the thick crowd in the hallways, but the first bell had rung as well. He rushed to first period Math, a pinkish hue staining his cheeks.

He really was, as Amber called him, a Disaster Gay™. He would have to tell her about this morning during lunch. She would probably let out one of those high pitched squeals that only teenage females seemed to be able to produce. His ears were starting to bleed just thinking about it.

Four periods later, Cyrus was trudging to the cafeteria, dragging himself through the line, and all but throwing himself on the bench. Amber joined him in her usual spot across from him not long after.

"Ambeeeeeeerrrrrr."

"Yes, my dearest?"

"Guess what."

"What?"

"Good guess, but no. I gave TJ a ride this morning."

"Oh?" Amber wiggled her eyebrows in a way that would imply his words held a naughtier meaning.

"Ohmygod nO!" Cyrus looked at her, horrified, before bursting into giggles.

"Just in your dreams then?" Amber was laughing a bit now.

"AmbER NO!"

"Come on, just admit it, you've had to have at least one wet dream about him-"

"NO!"

They were in hysterics now, their faces turning red from how hard they were laughing.

Amber composed herself first. "Anyway, continue."

"Anyway," Cyrus put emphasis on the word. "He brought chocolate-chocolate-chip muffins and played Fall Out Boy on the way to school and I just... I don't know how to deal with it? Like?? He was being nice?? For no reason??"

Amber laughed a little. "You poor, insufferable Disaster Gay™. A hot athlete was being NICE to me! For NO REASON! And I'm too stuck on me being an awful waste of space (which is in no way true), that I'm unable to comprehend that people LIKE to spend time with me!"

"Amber, I love you, but I think being in drama club is starting to get to your head."

"Bitch, I AM the drama club."

"What does that even mean?"

"Dunno, don't care." Their giggles were interrupted by a small clack of a lunch tray and the air to the left of Cyrus suddenly not being as empty as it was before.

Cyrus looked at the newcomer, and his eyes were met with a pair of sage green ones and perfectly quiffed dirty blond hair. TJ.

"Hey," TJ said this softly, obviously unnerved by the sudden lack of noise at the table. After all, it had seemed pretty alive before he'd sat down. "Um... I hope it's alright that I sit here."

Cyrus looked at Amber with pleading eyes, begging her not to do something embarrassing. She smiled and shook her head a bit.

"Hi, TJ. See, we were having a little disagreement here. Would you testify that I am, indeed, a fantastic actress?"

"Uh... Sure?"

Amber let out a small cackle that would have scared someone who didn't know her. Cyrus just rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Shut your mouth, Amber. You already talk enough for the both of us."

Amber mocked offense, placing a hand over her heart. "You hoe!" She said this without malice. "TJ, tell him he's wrong!"

Cyrus burst into giggles, TJ joining in.

Cyrus missed the way TJ looked at him and the knowing look Amber gave TJ.

 

"He's totally smitten on you, hun." 

They were walking to their classes after lunch, Science and Physics respectively, when she had brought this up. TJ had to get something out of his locker, so thankfully he wasn't there.

"He's totally not. I'm a nerd who makes a newborn giraffe on roller skates look graceful, and he's... He looks like he was sculpted by the gods, okay?"

Amber smirked at that. "I take it you looked at his ass too, then?"

"No!" Cyrus blushed. He was lying.

"Oh come on, you totally did. He's an avid athlete. Anyone who hasn't looked at his ass is a damn fool. I'll bet skinny jeans would outline the curve of his-"

"Amber NO!" Cyrus couldn't help the darkening blush as he actually thought about how great TJ would look in skinny jeans-NO NO NO CYRUS GOD DAMN IT STOP IT YOU HORMONAL FUCK.

Cyrus lightly punched Amber in the arm, to which she rolled her eyes at. She pulled him into a quick hug before continuing on her way. Cyrus walked into his Science class, the Disney princess look-a-like already there.

He shuddered involuntarily.

Cyrus sat down and began working on the bell work. Shortly after he finished with it, Maple turned to him. 

"It's been 10 weeks since the beginning of the year. Which means new seats. Y'know, since we get a change of seats every 10 weeks."

He looked at her and nodded. Damn it. He'd just learned her name.

"The other periods said that Mrs. Heartley is going to let us pick our own partners."

"Okay..."

"Just saying, you could sit next to the blond who's always looking at you. Seems like you'd have a chance with him."

He tried to not let the fact that she knew he was gay get to him. But it did. He had to ask.

"How'd you know... That I'm...?"

"Not straight? Easily enough."

He swallowed a lump in his throat and continued to press.

"How-"

She interrupted him. "I'm a lesbian with a highly advanced gaydar, doll. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She winked at him, probably to make him feel a bit better, but it just made him slightly more uncomfortable.

He didn't trust perfect people.

 

Sure enough, a few minutes after the majority of the class completed the bell work, Mrs. Heartley announced they could pick their lab partners for the next 10 weeks. Maple shot him another wink before getting up and moving next to a dark-skinned girl across the room. He didn't move.

TJ sat down next to him. "Hey, Cyrus."

Cyrus looked at him with rather wide eyes. "Hi..."

"Mind if we partner up?"

"Uh... Sure..." Cyrus rubbed his arm a little self-consciously. He glanced at Maple who was smiling at him like she'd won an Olympic gold medal. Was TJ the blond she was talking about? No, it couldn't be.

The same pitiful voice from earlier hoped it was.

 

Andi, Buffy, and Jonah got a ride on the bus after school. TJ had basketball practice. He'd invited Cyrus to come along and support him, but Cyrus had politely declined, saying that he had a lot of homework.

He felt bad that the real reason was that he didn't know if he could handle being around TJ much longer. TJ had given him more attention in one day than he'd been given in a month. It scared him. He didn't want to get too attached. Look at what had happened with Andi, Jonah, and Buffy. He'd gotten attached. They'd given him attention. Then they'd gotten bored of him. He could only hope Amber didn't do the same, but he refused to let TJ get any closer to him than he was now. That would just lead to heartbreak and misery.

And Cyrus didn't know how much more of that he could stand before it killed him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus is not having a good day. TJ makes an unlikely friend in Amber.
> 
> TW: a vivid description of self-harm, suicide attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to find flaws in Joshua Rush was really difficult guys
> 
>  
> 
> now I just feel guilty because I wrote mean things about a literal angel
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> honestly, minor projection issue here

Cyrus woke up on Saturday, and he could already tell it would be one of those days. One of those days where he'd avoid any and all forms of reflective surfaces, his body would feel weighed down by his thoughts, and an itch crawled under his skin, begging to be relieved. 

Surprisingly, he managed to get out of bed and go downstairs. He looked in the fridge, hoping to find something that looked appetizing. He started gagging at the thought of even attempting to eat. He got a glass of water and returned to his bedroom instead.

He had just laid back in bed when he got a text from Andi.

 

[Andi] baby t8rs?

 

He sighed. Of course she'd want to do something with him the one time he didn't feel like getting out of bed.

 

[Andi] it's going 2b just Jonah TJ & I if u don't come

[Andi] don't leave me alone w/ just the athletes!!! they'll talk sports & I don't understand tennis or basketball!! besides, I don't think TJ wants 2 3rd wheel w/o u

 

He groaned into his pillow. Now he was being guilted into going. This used to work on him. Now it doesn't.

 

[Me] sorry, I can't

[Andi] c'mon, plz? ur the only 1 w/ a car

 

So that was why she wanted him to go.

 

[Me] don't you have a mo-ped

[Andi] yeah but its fall!!!!!! u know I don't like to ride it in the cold

[Andi] besides it can't carry more than 2 people and I already invited TJ

[Me] I'm busy

[Andi] aw okay

[Andi] I'll order u baby t8rs anyways!

 

She'd forget.

 

He got up, despite every fiber of his being protesting this action, and went into the bathroom to relieve himself. He washed his hands and looked at himself in the mirror. Big mistake.

His eyes welled up with tears as he looked at every flaw he had. His obnoxiously pale skin. His doughy middle that still hadn't disappeared, even if he gave it his all in dance. His misshapen hips. His shoulders that weren't as broad as a normal boy's his age. The purple bags under his eyes. His face that never seemed to be the right shape for anything besides hiding.

The itch under his skin intensified.

Before he knew it, he was sitting in the bathtub with a dismantled razor poised to slice the skin on his thighs. Tears ran down his face like a waterfall, and all of a sudden the razor was cutting through his skin. Little red bubbles appeared on the surface, like a morbid pearl necklace, decorating his thighs as a physical reminder of his inner turmoil.

Cutting, cutting, cutting. One string of dark red pearls turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into ten until he lost count of how many times he'd cut open the pale, ugly skin that he hated so much.

He couldn't do anything but cry until his world went black.

 

TJ sat in The Spoon, waiting for Andi and Jonah. Andi had invited him that morning, saying she'd invite Cyrus. He'd agreed, even though he wasn't looking forward to a front-row seat to their... Whatever it was they do. They still hadn't arrived.

Amber was working right now. She'd waved to him when he'd walked in, and now she was making her way to his table.

"Hey!" She smiled and sat down across from him.

"Hi, Amber."

"Waiting on Cyrus?"

"Maybe... Andi said she'd invite him to join Jonah, her, and I."

Amber frowned at this.

"Is he home alone?"

"I don't... I don't know, why?"

Amber pulled out her phone and tapped at her screen at a break-neck spread.

"Amber what's-" She held up a finger to silence him as she put her phone to her ear, frown deepening. Judging by her concerned expression, it went to voice mail.

"He's not alright."

"What?"

"I can tell something's not right."

"How?"

"Cyrus-super-senses."

"But-"

She cut him off with a harsh scrape of her chair on the tile. She ran to the back and came out a few minutes later with her jacket on.

"Let's go."

"Huh?"

"I SAID, let's GO!" She yelled this at him, drawing the attention of a few other customers.

She dragged him to a car that looked almost like Cyrus's, with just a bit more wear-and-tear, and all but threw him at the passenger side door.

He scrambled to get in, not wanting to get yelled at again or left behind. She started up the car and pulled out a bit fast. 

"Call my boss."

"What-"

"TJ I SWEAR TO GOD JUST DO IT. ASK QUESTIONS LATER."

TJ went into her contacts and clicked 'boss', putting it on speaker and handing the phone to Amber.

"Hello?"

"Hi, yes, Mrs. Borealis, there's an emergency in the family. I hope you don't mind that I take the rest of the day off."

"Oh, Amber, not at all! Tell your family member to get well soon! I do hope you won't be out of work for too long though, you are my best waitress."

"Thank you, Mrs. B, and I'll be back as soon as possible."

Amber hung up, still going a bit faster than she should've, given the speed limit, but TJ wasn't really complaining. She said something was wrong with Cyrus, so he'd just have to trust her. And if it was a false alarm, at least he'd get to see Cyrus. He had a hunch that she wouldn't just freak out and skip work for nothing, though. Which worried him. A lot.

 

Less time than was probably how long it should've taken going at the speed limit Amber pulled into the Goodman's driveway. Cyrus's car was in the driveway. His parents' were not.

Amber shot out of the car and up the walkway, opening the door with a copy of the Goodmans' house key and running into the house. 

"CYRUS!"

TJ went into the house after her, waiting for a response. He shut the door, running upstairs to Cyrus's room. It was open, but no one was inside.

Amber was a step behind him, eyes wide and worried. She crossed the hallway and knocked on the bathroom door. Nothing. She walked in and gasped.

"TJ. 911. Now."

"Amber, is he okay?"

Amber turned to him, eyes filled with tears. "Call 911. Now." Her voice quivered, and she went into the bathroom. TJ pulled out his phone and called 911.

Cyrus was sitting in the tub in a thin t-shirt that may have been light blue and a pair of boxers, in a pool of his own blood, dried tear tracks running over his cheeks. A bloody razor was gripped in his right hand, and his eyes were closed. Amber sat on the edge of the tub, crying and running a hand through Cyrus's hair.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Um... My... My friend is bleeding out in his bathtub..."

"Can I get an address to dispatch to?"

TJ told the operator Cyrus's address and joined Amber on the side of the tub. He wanted to hold Cyrus, to do anything, but he was in shock. He knew Cyrus was getting bad, but he never thought... 

"Alright. EMTs are being dispatched to your address as we speak. Is your friend still bleeding?"

"I... I think so..."

"Alright, can you find something to apply to the source of the bleeding? Like a towel, maybe?"

He got up quickly and opened a cupboard, looking for a towel. He took a black one out of the cupboard, so maybe there would be a little bit less of a stain left.

Amber was still crying and running her hands through Cyrus's hair. He looked at Cyrus, trying to pinpoint the bleeding. Cyrus's thighs seemed to bear the brunt of the injuries, although his wrists seemed a close second. TJ pressed the towel to the cuts, trying not to tear up.

"Alright sir, I have another call to take. Are you able to handle this? The EMTs are about 5 minutes from your location."

"Yeah... Yeah, we should be fine."

"Alright, sir. I wish your friend the best."

A beep sounded, meaning the 911 operator had hung up.

"Should we call his parents?"

"Yeah."

Neither of them moved. It was as if the entire world held it's breath, but TJ knew it was a cliche. The world never held still, not even for the best person he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is exceptionally crappy. I have a system. Write, post, edit a day later.
> 
> So... Yeah. 
> 
> Also, can you tell I can't write angst very well?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus is recuperating. Amber and TJ bond.
> 
>  
> 
> Meanwhile, Andi, Buffy, and Jonah are nowhere to be found.

Cyrus would love to say that he saw the pearly gates to heaven when he flatlined, but then he'd be lying. He didn't see heaven or hell. No out-of-body experience. No ancestors come to say hi.

He'd only been dead for a few seconds in the ambulance, really, defibrillators made sure of that. So it would make sense that nothing particularly interesting had happened.

 

The EMTs arrived and somehow managed to get Cyrus out of the tub and onto a stretcher, then put him in the back of the ambulance. The EMTs told TJ and Amber they could ride in the back with them, but they'd have to squish themselves into a corner, practically.

It wasn't too big of an issue for Amber, considering she was... Well, rather short. And she'd also decided to curl up into TJ's side and bawl her eyes out. For TJ, it'd been a bit more difficult. He'd had to maneuver his long legs into an uncomfortable position. 

He wanted to comfort Amber. He did. But he couldn't stop staring at Cyrus. They'd put him on oxygen, and were currently attempting to keep him alive until they got to the hospital.

One minute, there was a flighty heartbeat, and then there was a long, loud, drawn out beep, and the HRM showed a flatline. He held his breath, and Amber let out a loud sob. The EMTs scrambled to charge the defibrillators and pulled up Cyrus's shirt to access the closest area to the heart. TJ would have admired the view if it weren't for the situation at hand. He noticed scarring running up Cyrus's hips, and his ribs that seemed to poke out just a little more than a healthy person's ribs should, and the sickening red tint that showed because of the blood that had run over his too pale skin.

"Clear!" One jump. The HRM picked back up again. Slow, flighty, but still there. TJ let out the breath he'd been holding. Amber sniffled.

A handful of stressful minutes later, the ambulance was backing into the area closest to the Emergency Ward. Doctors received the stretcher, quickly moving Cyrus to an open room. TJ and Amber trailed after them, just a few steps behind. The doctors pulled Cyrus into the room and shut the door. A nurse that had been standing by gently told them to sit in the chairs outside the door and wait it out.

TJ nodded in response, Amber wiped at her eyes. 

The blonde's make-up had been smudged severely, especially her mascara and eye-liner.

He would've mentioned this to her, but he was just glad she wasn't crying anymore. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, and she rested her head on his shoulder. TJ laid his head on Amber's, biting the inside of his cheek to keep tears from falling.

 

They'd fallen asleep. TJ had no idea how, but one minute he was staring at the blank wall in front of him, and the next moment he was being gently shaken awake by the same nurse from earlier, saying that Cyrus was stable. TJ nearly shot up onto his feet at that, but held himself back in order to not jolt Amber awake. He shook her a little, and she jumped, her head hitting TJ's chin on the way up.

"Ah, shit!"

"Oh my God TJ, I'm so sorry!"

"It's... It's fine. The nurse said Cyrus was stable. Thought you should know."

"He's alright? Oh, thank fuck!"

She got up, stretching out her lower back, meanwhile, TJ was rubbing his jaw gingerly. He stood up and went into Cyrus's room, seeing him asleep.

"He should be waking up within the next hour or two. The poor boy lost a lot of blood." The nurse said. TJ hadn't noticed she'd still been there.

There were two chairs set out on the left side of the bed. TJ took the one closest to the head of the bed. Amber took the other one.

"Would you two like anything? Water, maybe?"

"Yes please." Amber piped up for the first time since they'd entered the room. TJ nodded in agreeance. 

"Oh, and ma'am, could you please call his parents? They're the Goodmans."

"Ah, gotcha. Yup, I can do that. Water and parents." The nurse mumbled this to herself, presumably so she wouldn't forget either task, and walked out of the room at a rather fast pace.

Amber broke the silence.

"You really like him, huh?"

TJ considered lying to her but decided against it. "Yeah."

"He deserves someone like you loving him."

TJ smiled just a little at this, reaching out to hold Cyrus's hand, which was limp against the bed.

"I wish I would've realized he wasn't okay earlier than this."

"He's never been alright, TJ. Not since he was 13. At least. Probably even longer than that."

"That long?" TJ's heart broke at that. He'd just figured out that Cyrus was hurting like a week ago.

"Andi and Buffy chose themselves over him and he didn't complain. But every time they did that to him, I think he got a little worse inside. A little less... Him. I wish I could've been a better friend and helped more."

"Amber, if it weren't for you, Cyrus would probably be..." He trailed off, not wanting to continue.

"Dead." Amber finished his sentence, deadpanning. The word hung heavy in the air.

TJ choked up a little as he nodded.

"When he wakes up, I want you to fucking kiss his face off and make sure he knows he's loved."

TJ blushed at this but nodded. "Maybe not that aggressively, but sure."

Amber sighed. "He talks about you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He doesn't understand why you still hang out with him. He doesn't think he deserves anything good that happens to him. He thinks you're one of those good things he doesn't deserve."

TJ gently squeezed Cyrus's hand, a few tears escaping down his cheeks. Amber didn't comment, just placed a hand on his upper arm and gently squeezed, before letting her hand drop back into her lap. He was grateful she was here.

Amber was Cyrus's best friend, after all. Cyrus's best friend had never been Andi, or Buffy, or Jonah. Nor had TJ ever been, as loathe as he was to admit it.

TJ looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. "He's lucky to have you in his life."

Her eyes watered at that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something old, something new, something borrowed, something abused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary only partially has anything to do with the story. I just kinda came up with it (it's probably been made by someone else already, but I'm desperate), and wanted to put it down somewhere.
> 
> I swear I love Andi and Buffy, but they are kinda ignorant. I just... Amplified that ignorance to an extreme. Also, Jonah is Confused™.
> 
>  
> 
> TW: implied/referenced suicide attempt, arguing in hospitals (is that a trigger warning? Probably), lotsa cryin' folks (but don't worry, there's a lotta fluff too), I think that's it
> 
>  
> 
> TJ and Amber are so soft for Cyrus tho
> 
> Cyrus's Rehabilitated Meanies™
> 
> I love my Blonde Babies™ and Sunshine™ so much

Cyrus woke up about an hour and a half after TJ and Amber had had their conversation. They'd been sitting in silence before Cyrus's hand had squeezed TJ's, presumably unaware of the presence of him before then.

Cyrus's eyes fluttered open, his pretty brown eyes focusing on something in front of and above him, before shifting to Amber and TJ beside him. His eyes widened, and he looked like a deer in headlights.

"We're in... The hospital?" Cyrus's disused voice croaked.

TJ and Amber seemed to move in tandem as they burst forward to hug Cyrus. He jumped a little as Amber buried her face into his shoulder, TJ pulling him a bit upwards so Cyrus's face was buried in TJ's shoulder.

It was very awkward, and Cyrus didn't relax during it.

TJ pulled from the hug first, Amber next.

A slap sounded as well as a loud sob. TJ looked at Amber, affronted. 

"What the fuck, Amber?" Cyrus and TJ said this in unison, Cyrus rubbing his newly red cheek.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again," Amber said this fiercely, eyes dripping again. Her fists clenched by her sides, angry and concerned all at once.

Cyrus nodded, a bit dazed. Well, that and a little scared, but mostly dazed.

He looked at his lap, noting the bandages wrapped tightly around his wrists. He finally registered that his cheek wasn't the only part of him stinging. His thighs ached fiercely, his wrists almost as painful.

"I... Why am I here?"

"You cut yourself really fucking deep, Cyrus. You lost a fuck ton of blood. If you'd cut your femoral artery, you would've been dead before Amber and I got to your house. And you'd have died not knowing how much people fucking love you." It was TJ's turn to be angry.

Cyrus's mouth opened and closed several times, indicating he wanted to say something. He finally closed it, his eyes watering.

"I just... I felt so useless, and used, and... and..." Cyrus stuttered this out, tears falling. TJ sat down on the bed, his jaw set, facing Cyrus dead-on.

"And I felt... I felt... So unloved... And I-" Cyrus was cut off by firm hands pressing at his cheeks, and a pair of soft lips pressing against his own with a fierceness that left him breathless. His eyes closed, a bandaged arm reaching up to hold TJ's wrist. The kiss softened marginally.

Just before Cyrus started suffocating, TJ pulled away. Sage green eyes were shiny and wet, spilling over onto sharp cheekbones like a babbling forest brook.

"TJ, I..."

"You're so loved Cyrus. And not just by me, by your parents, who are rushing here from work because their precious baby thought they neglected him. You're loved by Amber, so much so that when she learned you were home alone and weren't answering your phone, she skipped work because her best friend thought he wasn't worth loving. And me, who missed out on baby taters because Amber thought you were hurt or hurting yourself..." TJ laughed a little towards the end of his rant, mostly at the missing out on the baby taters part. It was a sad laugh though, and he buried his face into Cyrus's shoulder, crying into the cheap cotton material the hospital gown was made of.

Cyrus's tears fell a little more freely, and he held onto TJ, a hand running through the already messed up dirty blond locks. 

He looked to Amber, who, although still crying and sad-looking, was smiling softly at TJ and him. Her make-up was messed up and her uniform was wrinkled. She looked so exhausted. He felt guilty, and realized he should. He had been so caught up in himself that he hadn't noticed everyone around him, which was the exact thing he'd come to resent Andi, Buffy, and Jonah for. He had two perfectly good friends who loved him so much (one in a slightly different way, but still), and four parents who would've been there for him if only he'd asked. Maybe a little reluctantly, or a little tiredly, but still.

He'd been damaging himself because he hadn't noticed all the love he'd been shown.

"I... I'm so sorry... I didn't... I didn't realize..." TJ lifted his head, staring Cyrus dead in the eyes.

"We all would've been so fucking sad if you'd succeeded in killing yourself. Immeasurably so. And you would've missed it all."

TJ wiped at his eyes, taking one of Cyrus's arms in his hand, bringing Cyrus's wrist to his mouth, kissing the bandages. He was still crying, though not as hard as before. Just a few tears here and there. 

There was a spell of peace over them. Not a happy one, or an awkward one, but a silence that was filled with revelations. Amber sat down on the bed and held Cyrus's right hand 

 

The door slamming open broke them from their trance. Andi, Jonah, and Buffy burst through. Everyone else in the room tensed. TJ stood up.

"The fuck are you here for?" The venom in his voice was terrifying.

Buffy, as always, didn't seem phased. At least, not on the outside. "We're here to see our friend, TJ. Why are you here?" Buffy put extra emphasis on 'friend' and 'you'.

"Since when are you his friend? Except for a ride to school or your little dates?" TJ looked pissed.

Andi looked horrified. "Excuse me? Since when have you been his friend? You two haven't seemed too close since like, last week!"

TJ flinched at that. Cyrus grabbed his hand and squeezed. TJ took a breath before saying, in a quieter but no less venomous voice, "How did you even find out he was here?"

"Uh... The hospital called Cece." Jonah piped up for the first time, at the same time Andi said "None of your god damn business!"

TJ turned his piercing glare to Jonah, making Jonah shrink into Andi's side.

TJ looked back at Buffy. "Just leave!"

"Why don't you! You've never been his friend before now, but now you're acting like you're two peas in a pod!"

"You didn't find him bleeding out in a bathtub, so fuck off!" Amber said this with a venom that almost matched TJ's.

"Why don't we let Cyrus decide?" Jonah piped up, and suddenly, all eyes were on Cyrus. TJ's expression immediately shifted to something softer when he looked at Cyrus. Amber looked at him sympathetically. Buffy and Andi were looking at him expectantly and demandingly. Jonah just looked uncomfortable.

"I... Can you please go?" Cyrus directed this at Buffy and Andi, barely summoning the courage to look at them.

"I..." Andi looked hurt. Buffy looked betrayed.

"Fuck you! Sorry for trying to be here for you!" Buffy said this as she stormed out. Andi looked like she wanted to say something, but turned away after a moment and followed Buffy. Jonah stood in the doorway awkwardly, before nodding at Cyrus, who nodded back, and left.

The tension in the room left with him.

"That was... New..." Cyrus said this as TJ sat down.

"Being mean is tiring..." TJ let out a groan, face planting a little ways from Cyrus's thigh. Cyrus nearly laughed. He gently reached out and ran a hand through TJ's hair. TJ leaned into the touch.

"TJ looks like he's about ready to start purring." 

"Oh fuck off, Amber." TJ tilted his head to look up at her and smile. All previous venom in their voices was long gone.

"You love me." She stuck her tongue out at him childishly. Cyrus started giggling. TJ's smile widened.

TJ moved from the chair to Cyrus's bed, before leaning forward and kissing Cyrus's nose, which made Cyrus giggle more. "I fucking love your little laugh." Cyrus blushed.

Amber made a gagging noise. "Oh my god, I'm getting cavities from all of this sweetness. I'm going to go raid the vending machines for Cheetos. Any other suggestions?"

"Can you get me gummy worms?" Cyrus asked this.

"I'd appreciate a Kit-Kat."

"Gummy worms, Kit-Kat, got it." Amber stood up and stretched, walking to and then out the door.

It was quiet for a moment. "Teej... We haven't really gotten to talk about us yet..."

"Oh shit... Right. Sorry if I did something you didn't like... I really should've asked first but I was really happy you were alive and angry you tried to change that and I worked on impulse and I'm sorry-"

"Teej! It's fine. I... I liked kissing you." TJ's worried expression melted into a soft smile that seemed specially reserved for Cyrus.

"Really?"

"Yeah... I meant more... Are we boyfriends now?"

"Of course! I mean, if you want to be, anyway..."

"I do, I just... I know some people don't like labels, so I was just making sure."

TJ smiled. "Of course I want to be your boyfriend."

"You don't care that I'm... I'm screwed up?"

"You just need a little help, that's all. And besides, you accepted me back when we were 13, even though I was an asshole. And it's because of you I'm getting help for my dyscalculia."

Cyrus sat up and opened his arms for a hug. TJ obliged, planting a kiss to the top of his head while Cyrus nuzzled his collar bone. Cyrus took in a deep breath, a little laugh near the end.

"Are you smelling me?"

"... Yeah."

"You dork." TJ ruffled Cyrus's hair fondly. 

"Can I ask why you decided to smell me?" TJ said this as he pulled back from the hug.

"Because... You smell nice... And my anxiety that you'd be freaked out prevented me from doing it when we were just friends..."

"Aw. You think I smell nice?"

"Yeah..." Cyrus blushed darkly. "You smell like... Like mint and lavender."

"That would be my essential oil diffuser at home."

"You, big scary basketball team captain, have an essential oil diffuser?"

"Hell yeah, babe."

Cyrus blushed even darker at the pet name. "Babe? Already?"

TJ blushed a little. "Why not? I mean I'll stop if you don't like it..."

"Teej, it's fine. I think it's cute."

"Okay."

"What should I call you? Hmm... Sweetheart."

"What? Noooo babe!"

"I'm joking Teej! I'll come up with something more original."

"Well, then I have to because babe is really unoriginal."

"I like it..."

"Nooo... I have to figure out something origi-Muffin!"

"Huh?"

"Your pet name is Muffin. As of now."

"Aww..."

"It's perfect."

"Now I have to come up with something so perfect, it makes 'Muffin' look overused!"

"This isn't a competition, doll."

"Babe? Doll? Muffin? You're too good at this!"

"Cyrus, stop freaking out! It's not a competition! If it makes you feel better I won't call you a pet name."

"Nooo, I like your pet names! I just want to give you one!"

"It's fine Cyrus, don't worry about it."

Cyrus pouted but didn't comment.

"Cy, really. I don't care."

"But you should! You already picked out the perfect-" He was interrupted for the second time that day by a pair of lips on his. They were pressing against his gently, reassuringly, nothing like the fierce kiss they'd shared earlier, but just as nice. When they pulled back, Cyrus smiled mischievously.

"If that's how you're going to kiss me, maybe I should complain more often." TJ laughed at that.

They rested their foreheads together, TJ rubbing their noses together every so often. Cyrus loved every second of it.

 

The door opened, Amber coming in, arms loaded with what seemed like an entire vending machine's worth of junk food. "I got one of like everything. Except for Snickers and Milky Ways. And Reese's. Reese's suck."

She got a nod of agreeance from Cyrus and an "Amen" from TJ. She dumped all of the food onto Cyrus's lap. TJ quickly apprehended a Kit-Kat.

Cyrus grabbed a bag of gummy worms, and Amber grabbed a bag of Cheetos. There was silence in the room for a few minutes as the trio snacked.

"So... What Hogwarts House are you two in?" Cyrus interrupted the silence.

TJ smiled. "Hufflepuff."

"Really? That's so cute."

Amber took a few more seconds to respond. "I'm Gryffindor."

"Really? I'm Slytherin." TJ and Amber laughed a little at that.

"Adorable Cyrus Goodman? A Slytherin? It's more likely than you think."

"Hey! Not all Slytherins are evil!"

"We know, Muffin. You're a prime example of that."

 

They sat around for a while, just munching on snacks and talking about nothing. It was nice. Cyrus had missed this.

His mom, dad, and step-dad came into the room tiredly. His mom looked like she'd been crying. Amber and TJ cleared off the wrappers and remaining junk food off of the bed and moved into the chairs by the bed, letting Cyrus's parents have their time with him.

"Where's Sharon?"

"She's at home, packing you a few outfits and... Cleaning up."

Cyrus winced. Right. He'd nearly managed to forget why he was in the hospital in the first place.

"Cyrus," his dad started. "We're... We're so sorry for not noticing how bad you were getting. We were just so busy with work, and we thought... We never thought that you'd get so sad that you'd... You'd want to kill yourself."

"I wasn't trying to kill myself..." Cyrus murmured this softly, eyes glistening with tears again. TJ's heart yearned to comfort Cyrus right now, but he knew he shouldn't.

"You weren't... Oh, Cyrus. You've... You've done this before, haven't you?" Cyrus's mom asked this, sitting on Cyrus's right side and holding his hand.

Cyrus nodded. Cyrus's step-dad sat next to his mom, resting a hand on her shoulder. His dad sat near the foot of the bed. They exchanged looks, trying to comprehend how they could have jobs where the basic duties were to pick up signs of suffering, and yet they'd managed to so blatantly ignore all of their son's signs.

"How can we help you get better?" His step-dad piped up.

Cyrus shrugged. "I feel like it was all in my head... I mean, I'm obviously not going to be miraculously cured, but I at least know that I'm loved. Now, anyways."

His parents nodded to each other. His mom took a deep breath. "The nurse assigned to your room said you'd have to stay overnight, at least. You have an appointment scheduled on Wednesday to have a psychiatrist help figure out what meds you may or may not need to take. She also said your friends are lovely people." She shifted her gaze to TJ and Amber, a motherly smile on her lips and a grateful look in her eyes.

"They are, aren't they?" Cyrus said this while looking at the two blondes, gaze lingering on TJ just a little bit longer. A smile played on his lips, and TJ and Amber smiled a little embarrassedly at the praise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put them in Hogwarts Houses. Do I smell a mandatory Hogwarts AU? You'll never know.
> 
>  I'm gonna get attacked for shit talking Reese's, aren't I?
> 
> I don't like Reese's. Mainly because I don't like milk chocolate or peanut butter, and Reese's has both.
> 
> I fucking love Kit-Kats and gummy worms tho
> 
> Kit-Kats are like the only milk chocolate candy I like
> 
>  
> 
> Also, you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus left kudos
> 
> I may die
> 
> Thank u senpai
> 
> I love your works <3
> 
> Thank you to everyone else as well, I live for the kudos and comments you leave!!!! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus gets out of the hospital. TJ is absolutely smitten and he can and will show it. Amber needs a dentist handy whenever she decides to 3rd wheel with the couple. Some of Cyrus's old friends try to make amends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been in the hospital (not that I can remember, anyway... Last time I was in a hospital overnight was when I was what... 8 months old, maybe? I dunno), so I hope I did alright.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I know I've said it many times, but I will say it again:
> 
> Kippen is absolutely smitten

Staying overnight at a hospital is an absolute nightmare, and never to be done again, Cyrus had resolved by midnight.

 

His parents had left him his phone, saying to keep it on him just in case, and his step-mom had dropped off a duffel bag with two outfits, his pajamas, his phone charger, his toothbrush and paste, a comb, and a couple pairs of underwear. He'd thanked her profusely, and she'd smiled tearily, before hugging him nearly to death.

When visiting hours ended, they all had been ushered out of the room, TJ lagging a bit behind so he could kiss Cyrus good night. And by midnight, all Cyrus wanted to do was curl up in TJ's arms and let himself be kissed. Instead, he took out his phone and called TJ, growing more nervous with every ring.

On the 5th or 6th ring, TJ picked up. "Mmm... Hey Muffin. It's kinda late, what's up?" TJ sounded like he'd been sleeping, and Cyrus would've felt bad if TJ's newly-awoken voice hadn't been the hottest thing he'd ever heard. He told him as much.

"Thanks, Muffin, but seriously. Are you alright?"

"Yeah... Just couldn't sleep and wanted to hear your voice."

"My incredibly hot voice?" TJ teased, and Cyrus swore he could picture the half-smirk, half-smile in his voice.

"Yes, your incredibly hot voice." Cyrus blushed just a little, biting at his lip absentmindedly. He was so incredibly smitten with the other male.

"Well, you've heard it. You should try to get some sleep. You're going to be able to get out of the hospital sometime around nine."

"You know this how?"

TJ, on the other end of the line, blushed and ran a hand through his product-less hair. "I may have asked the nurse assigned to your room when you'd be able to get out of there."

"Oh yeah?" Cyrus wrinkled his nose in amusement, smiling. He really wished TJ was here.

"Yeah. I wanted to know when I'd be able to take you on a date." TJ recovered from his previous embarrassment rather smoothly.

"Uh-huh. I'm driving, then?"

"Nope. I already asked my mom if I could borrow her car after school."

"You do realize you could've just used my car, right? It's not like you don't have your license."

"Yeah, but I wanted to be able to pick you up from your house and dramatically exclaim 'wow' as you walked downstairs in a fantastic outfit, and then get the 'home by 11, and don't you dare think of getting too handsy' talk from your dad and step-dad."

"Have you been watching those rom-coms again?"

"Hey, in my defense, my mom was the one who put on the first one, I just stayed for the rest."

"Did you get around to watching any Nicholas Sparks movies?"

"Yeah."

"Did you cry?"

"It's Nicholas Sparks, Muffin. Only people without tear ducts don't cry during those movies."

"Fair enough."

The pair sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other's company, even if they weren't technically in the same room.

"I know I just saw you a few hours ago, but I really miss you."

"Me too, Muffin."

Cyrus burst out laughing. "God, we're so cheesy. We sound like a hetero couple in a teen movie. 'Me too, Muffin'. God." Cyrus deepened his voice comically in a purposely terrible imitation of TJ's voice, still laughing to himself.

"Hey, you were the one to bring up the 'missing you' topic."

"I was, but still."

"Fine, maybe I won't say sappy shit anymore." TJ was teasing, but Cyrus still pouted.

"Noooo, I like it when you say sappy things, Mr. Scary Basketball Captain."

"Oh, I'm back to our 'just met' status, am I?"

"No, that's not what I meant! I like it when you say sappy stuff and tell me you have an essential oil diffuser and call me doll or babe or muffin and kiss me on the nose and tell me you like my laugh! I mean it as in everyone else finds you intimidating, and it's like I'm the only one who gets to see that other part of you!"

"Muffin, calm down. I was kidding. Of course, I'll still be sappy as hell. That's just who I am. I am every stereotypical white boy in a hetero rom-com."

"You are anything but a cookie-cutter white boy."

"Aww, thanks, Cyrus."

"Anytime, Teej. Now tell me I'm pretty so I can fall asleep."

"Ay-ay, Captain."

"You're the Captain here."

"Oh really? Sounds kinda kinky."

"Oh my God, you and Amber have the exact same brand of humor. I'm totally dating my best friend. Just gayer."

"Ew, no." Cyrus laughed at that.

"Alright now tell me I'm pretty!"

"You're the prettiest boy I know."

"Aw."

"Except for Tom Holland."

"Teej!"

"Alright, alright. I'm serious though."

"About me or Tom Holland?"

"About you."

"I love you, Teej."

"Love you too, Muffin."

 

For another half an hour or so, TJ and Cyrus just talked. If you asked them in the morning what they'd said after exchanging 'I love you's, neither would be able to tell you. They fell asleep, Cyrus first, TJ hanging up a little reluctantly after hearing Cyrus's quiet snores, then turning in his bed and falling asleep almost immediately after.

 

The next morning, Cyrus woke up feeling... New. He got out of bed, cautious of wires, and changed his outfit. He laid back in bed, not wanting to go anywhere outside of his room in case that wasn't allowed.

The nurse from yesterday came in sometime after that, clipboard In hand. "Hello, Cyrus. Just a couple quick questions, and then you'll be able to be on your way. There's someone waiting to pick you up, actually."

Most of the questions were of stuff like 'rate your pain on a scale of 1-10', and they only took a couple minutes to answer. She had him sign a paper before she busied herself disconnecting the tubes and wires connected to him. She then waited while he collected his stuff, walking him out. He asked her if he could stop at the bathroom to better ready himself, and she obliged. He brushed his teeth, his hair, and relieved himself. He washed his hands, and then exited the restroom, feeling much fresher.

The nurse led him to the main entrance, handing him a plastic bag that she'd picked up from the front desk. When she noticed his confused expression, she told him they were the clothes he'd been found in, and they'd been freshly washed. He thanked her, before heading out. 

TJ was waiting in the roundabout, leaning against the door of Cyrus's car, with a Starbucks tray and a small box in his hand. He was wearing a black beanie, dark wash jeans, a plain white t-shirt, a leather jacket, Converse, and a pair of sunglasses. Cyrus had to stop himself from laughing at how stereotypical the outfit seemed. 

His own outfit consisted of a dark blue sweater and a pair of jeans, along with sneakers and his winter jacket.

Cyrus walked up to TJ, who smiled charmingly and pulled him into a kiss with the arm not holding the Starbucks and box. 

"Morning, Muffin." 

"Morning Teej!" Cyrus said this, his hands resting against TJ's chest, where he'd caught himself from slamming into his boyfriend. He quickly moved his hands, but not before having felt the muscles hidden by TJ's shirt. It really was a shame it was too cold to be shirtless.

Cyrus was then handed the box and one of the Starbucks cups, TJ opening the door for him. After Cyrus was securely in, TJ walked around to the other side and slid into the driver's seat. He let his sunglasses slide down his nose while looking at Cyrus with a dorky smile.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Nope. Unless you count attractiveness as something." Came the flirty response.

Cyrus shook his head fondly, and TJ drove off towards school. "Isn't it like halfway through second period right now?"

"Yeah."

"Teej, did you sneak out just to pick me up?"

"Nope. Got a signed pass from my mom to leave during second period, and to not expect me back until third period. And then I went to your house and picked up your car and backpack, in case you haven't noticed." Cyrus glanced to the backseat, and his backpack was indeed there, along with TJ's.

"Wait... 'Not to expect you back until third period'?"

"Yup."

"So what are we going to do to kill time?"

"Make out in the parking lot," TJ said this while smirking, taking a sip from his own Starbucks cup.

"Teej!"

"Calm down, Muffin. Only with consent."

"I think my biggest issue with that is that I don't have an issue with that."

TJ smiled at this, keeping his eyes trained on the road.

"I mean, I was sorta joking, but if you want to, I'm game. I actually asked for her to write not to expect me back until third period because I thought the line would be longer for Starbucks."

Cyrus blushed, taking a sip out of his cup. It was hot cocoa. He mumbled something that sounded like 'well you offered, so I mean...'

 

They got to the school, and TJ parked. He turned to Cyrus with a playful smile on his face, moving his sunglasses to rest on the top of his forehead. "So do you want to make out? We have 15 minutes to spare."

Cyrus blushed darker, before leaning over and kissing TJ chastely. TJ pouted after that.

"Aww, Muffin, that was hardly a peck!"

"I want to, but also... Not? Not in the school parking lot, at least."

"That's fine, babe."

Cyrus smiled. TJ moved his sunglasses back in place and kissed Cyrus's forehead, turning off the car and getting out. He opened up the back seat, grabbing their backpacks. He still had his Starbucks in hand as he opened Cyrus's door. Cyrus grabbed his own Starbucks and the box, getting out. TJ handed him his bag, adjusting his own over his shoulders. 

Once they had both settled their bags comfortably on their bodies and Cyrus had moved his Starbucks and box to one hand, they held hands while making their way to the main entrance. Cyrus picked up a tardy slip in the office, before making his way to the Math room. TJ decided to wait outside the door with him, them both deciding to sit, and Cyrus finally opened up the box. It was a chocolate-chocolate chip muffin with whipped cream on top.

"Aw, Teej. You're the best." 

TJ flipped his hair dramatically after pulling off his sunglasses and beanie. "I try to be." 

Cyrus laughed, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to TJ's cheek.

Cyrus then sighed. "I'm starting to regret not making out with you in the parking lot. At least making out with you would beat sitting in the school hallway, even with a fantastic muffin."

TJ smiled at that. "I would say we could make out here, but there's not only cameras everywhere, but it's also a school hallway. Pretty sure that's even less romantic than in your car."

"Yeah."

TJ laughed and took a drink from his cup. "Might want to finish up your muffin before class."

"Yeah. Thank you for everything, honestly. Especially... Yesterday. At my house."

TJ wrapped his arm around Cyrus's shoulders and squeezed him gently. "Of course." He said this softly, and Cyrus leaned into his side. Cyrus broke off a piece of the muffin and fed it to TJ, then ripped off another piece and ate it.

"You were right last night."

"Huh?"

"We do seem to be like a stereotypical hetero relationship in a teen movie. Y'know, but more realistic. Throw in dyscalculia, low self-esteem, depression, and major gayness and bam! That's us."

TJ kissed Cyrus's temple before standing up and stretching, offering his hand to Cyrus. Cyrus took it, and TJ pulled him to his feet and into a hug.

"Keyboarding is on the other side of the school, and I gotta get going. See you at lunch, Muffin."

"Wait, you're taking Keyboarding?"

"For the college credits, yes."

"Yeesh."

"Yeah. The class isn't that bad, but the teacher's a bit harsh."

"Alright, well, you have fun, and yeah. See you at lunch."

TJ left with a dramatic bow, before turning and tossing his Starbucks cup in the garbage and continuing on his way down the hall. Cyrus sighed happily, finishing off his muffin and attempting to chug his hot chocolate.

Keywords: 'attempting' and 'hot'.

In other words, he burnt his tongue.

 

Lunchtime rolled around, and Cyrus could not have been happier. He got his food and sat down at Amber's and his usual table. TJ sat down to the left of him, and Amber sat down in front of Cyrus, as per usual.

What wasn't usual, though, was Andi and Jonah sitting down on Amber's right side.

Andi looked at Cyrus, opening her mouth and closing it a few times like she was calculating her words carefully. "I'm... I'm sorry. For everything. For what happened at the hospital, and for being... Well, a bitch in general."

TJ and Amber had both tensed and looked like they were about to go into attack mode, but Cyrus placed a hand on TJ's upper arm and gave Amber a look.

"I forgive you. I don't know if I'll be okay with you for a while, but I do forgive you."

Andi let out a breath of relief. Jonah looked at him and winced. "Guess that means I owe you an apology, too. I... I know I'm typically not the most perceptive guy, but I really should've noticed you were struggling earlier. And I'm sorry for putting you on the spot in the hospital. That couldn't have been... Great."

Cyrus smiled at him a little half-heartedly, still not entirely comfortable with either of their presences. "Thank you, Jonah. And I forgive you, as well."

Jonah and Andi stood up again and left, presumably to go back to the table Buffy was at. TJ and Amber visibly relaxed, and TJ wrapped an arm around Cyrus's waist, pressing a kiss to his temple. Cyrus smiled and leaned into the touch.

"Y'know, you guys don't always have to go into guard dog mode whenever they're around, right? I think I can handle myself most of the time." Amber rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll tone it down a little." She said this while taking a rather aggressive bite of whatever passed as food on their lunch trays. TJ didn't say anything, just rubbed small circles into Cyrus's hip lightly, careful of the cuts he knew were there.

"Teej? Dial it back just a little, yeah?'

"I don't want them to hurt you again, Muffin," TJ said this while resting his head on Cyrus's shoulder.

"I won't let them, okay? And if they try anything, I'll tell you about it, promise."

"Fine. Just a little."

"Good. Now eat your food.'

"You may compare us to guard dogs, but we are, in fact, not actually dogs." Amber said this with a raised eyebrow.

"I know. I just like being in charge."

A rather loud groan was heard as both blondes said "Kinky!" In unison.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long!!!! I haven't had much time/inspiration to write recently, so this chapter took a while. It's a lil bit of angst followed by lotsa fluff
> 
> TW: implied/referenced suicide attempt, mentions of blood, arguing
> 
> Also, sorry if the arguments seem a little half-baked... I really just wanted to write fluff

It had been almost a week since his attempt.

Almost a week of cuddles with TJ. Almost a week of talking to Amber about everything and anything and her not worrying if he was eating. Almost a week of exchanging simple hello's with Andi and Jonah in the halls.

Almost a week of Buffy turning heel when they were even in the same hallway. Almost a week of seeing Andi and Buffy arguing by their lockers about how they'd all been ignorant, and that it shouldn't have taken Cyrus nearly killing himself for them to notice, and Buffy, ever the stubborn one, refusing to accept fault. 'He never told us he had an issue with what was happening! How were we supposed to know?' Was a part of an argument he'd heard, and had latched onto. 

Almost a week of being treated like he was fragile by his parents. Like a glass figurine. Like he was delicate.

Most nights his parents would argue. 

"You're treating him differently now!" Was what he was currently hearing from his mom's defense. His mom and dad were fighting because of him, and his step-parents were doing all they could to diffuse it, which admittedly, wasn't much.

"Because he is different!" His dad had countered in a voice that Cyrus hadn't heard him use since... Ever, really.

"How? Because he tried to kill himself? He's the same boy he's always been, just a little sadder! And now he has help! He has pills and therapy, and supportive friends!”

"He had supportive friends!"

"How can you be so ignorant? When was the last time you saw Andi or Buffy or Jonah over? Because I can't recall them coming over since... What... Sometime after his 15th birthday?"

Cyrus tuned them out after that. He already knew all of this. Knew all of it and more, actually, because he was living it.

He shifted his attention to a plastic bag thrown haphazardly into the corner of his room. He already knew what was in it, and yet...

He stood up off of his bed and walked over, crouching down. Crouching stretched the skin of his thighs, and he winced at the pull of his still-healing scars, but that was all. At least they were healing. Trying not to make too much noise, he opened up the bag and removed the items, laying them out on the floor. Even though the items had been washed almost immediately after the... Incident, they were still stained and smelled faintly of blood.

He shoved the clothes back in the bag and threw it across the room, fresh tears spilling. His parents were fighting because of him. His friends were fighting because of him. Everyone was fighting because of him. He'd messed everything up. God, he was such a fuck up.

He stood up and sat back on his bed that seemed too big for him alone. He picked up his phone and dialed a number he already knew by heart.

"Mmm'ello?"

"Hey, Teej. Sorry for waking you up."

"Nah, s'fine. Wasn't really sleeping anyway. What's up?"

Cyrus was quiet for a moment. "They're fighting again."

"Oh... What is it about this time?"

"Me. How I'm different."

"Baby, you're no different. You're still the perfect angel I love to kiss and hug. The same sad boy I fell in love with..." There was a slight pause before TJ continued. "The same boy that I'm going to visit in the middle of the night to cuddle because he needs it."

"Teej, you don't... You don't have to do that." Cyrus weakly protested, because his need to be comforted outweighed the need to be polite.

"Shh, baby, I'm on my way. Make sure your backdoor's unlocked."

"...Thank you, Teej."

"I love you, Muffin."

"Love you too."

TJ hung up, and Cyrus wiped his eyes and stood up. TJ was coming. He'd be alright.

He carefully walked downstairs, avoiding the creakier floorboards and relaxing once he finally reached the backdoor. He unlocked it, and not ten minutes later, TJ was at the door, smiling a little. 

Cyrus opened the door, and TJ hugged him fiercely, picking him up off the ground, spinning him around and setting him down again. He then pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, hands settling on Cyrus's hips.

Cyrus wrapped his arms around TJ's shoulders, kissing back. After a few moments, TJ pulled back and made sure the door was fully closed, locking it again. He quietly lead Cyrus back up the stairs, shutting Cyrus's bedroom door behind them and pulling Cyrus to his bed. They laid down after TJ took off his shoes and cuddled close, Cyrus pulled flush against the blond's chest and TJ's arms wrapped around him tightly.

They were silent for a moment, content in just holding each other for a while. Cyrus broke the silence. "You didn't have to do this... But I'm glad you did." He sat up a bit, and TJ followed suit.

"You needed it. And I want to be here for you, especially when you need it." Cyrus leapt forward and hugged him, burying his head into TJ's neck. TJ wrapped his arms around Cyrus's waist, pulling him impossibly closer. TJ pressed a kiss to his shoulder before pulling back and placing his hands on either side of Cyrus's face.

"You're so beautiful. You have no idea, do you?"

"I'm starting to get something of an idea, I think."

TJ laughed softly, kissing Cyrus again.

"Alright, sleepy time. You must be exhausted."

"A bit, yeah. Crying really takes something out of you."

"I get it. Feel free to keep crying though. God knows you need it."

Cyrus laughed half-heartedly. "Yeah... Thanks."

"Anything for you, love." They readjusted, laying down properly again, TJ being the big spoon, and fell asleep.

 

TJ woke up, arm a little numb because Cyrus was kinda laying on it. Speaking of which, he was curled up against TJ, head tucked between his neck and shoulder and fingers loosely gripped onto his shirt. TJ smiled at him, shifting a little so he could get a better look. He was so adorable, honestly. He looked... Happier, in his sleep. He always had this underlying layer of sadness beneath his smile that not even TJ could fully erase, but now... He looked at peace.

TJ gently pressed a kiss to his temple, before slowly getting up, taking care to not wake Cyrus. He needed all the sleep he could get, honestly.

He'd barely shut the door to Cyrus's room when a woman's voice cut through the silence. 

"TJ?"

Said boy jumped a little. "Oh, um... Hi, Mrs. Goodman."

"What are you doing here?"

"Sorry... Uh... Cyrus heard you guys fighting and... And called me to comfort him. It was my idea to come over, please don't get mad at him, he-"

"He... Heard us arguing?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh."

It was awkwardly quiet for a moment.

"Well, I'm glad he has you to comfort him."

"Uh... Me too?"

"Is he still asleep?"

"Yeah."

"You two didn't... y'know... Have too much fun, did you?"

TJ was confused for a moment, then it clicked. He went scarlet and started stumbling over his words terribly. "Uh... No... No ma'am, never! I-we just, um... We just cuddled, nothing... Nothing more, promise!"

She let out a little laugh and shook her head. "I'm teasing, really. I trust you."

TJ let out a breath of relief, still blushing.

"Your hair looked a little messed up, is all."

"Uh... Huh, yeah. Just... haven't styled it yet."

His hair was indeed a bit of a mess. A semi-curly mop of a mess, not to mention slightly frizzy. He reached up and ran a hand through it in a weak attempt to smooth it down.

"Well, I'm afraid it's just us three this morning. The other parents have already left for the office. My first appointment starts at 1, so I've got a couple of hours to spare. What would you like for breakfast?"

"Uh... I don't mind... Whatever's easiest to make, I guess."

"Nonsense. I'm going to go make pancakes."

"Oh... Uh, thank you."

She smiled and made her way downstairs.

He went to the bathroom to freshen up, using an extra toothbrush from the cabinet of 'guest supplies' to brush his teeth. The 'guest supplies' cabinet was really just a cabinet filled with extra blankets, towels, pads and tampons, toothbrushes, deodorant, hair ties, and even an extra hairbrush or two. He had a hunch that most of the stuff in there was for when Andi and Buffy used to spend the night and would forget stuff.

He returned to Cyrus's room, opening the door and finding Cyrus sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning, Teej..." He mumbled.

"Morning, Muffin." TJ made his way to the bed and sat next to Cyrus, leaning over and giving him a quick good morning kiss.

"I wish we could do that more often."

"What? Cuddle all night or good morning kisses?"

"Both."

"Ah. Me too, Muffin. Although I would like to avoid talking to your mother about whether or not we had sex as soon as I wake up."

Cyrus's eyes shot wide open, and he groaned, flopping back on the bed, before pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. "Noooo, did she really? I'm so sorry!"

TJ laughed a little, reaching over and ruffling Cyrus's hair. "It's fine, really. I mean, it was a bit awkward, but whatever. Also, she's making pancakes."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Well then, what are we waiting around for? Mom's pancakes are the best!"

TJ laughed at his enthusiasm. "Why don't you go brush your hair and make sure you don't have dragon breath when you go to eat those infamous pancakes, yeah?"

"Okay!" Cyrus jumped up and hurried to the bathroom, and TJ smiled fondly after his boyfriend as he did so.

"What a goofball. I love him."

 

About 20 minutes later, Cyrus and TJ were sat next to each other at the breakfast table, Cyrus's mom across from them, and all three were digging into their pancakes.

Cyrus's mom decided to strike up a conversation.

"So... When did you get here last night, TJ?"

"Uh... Midnight-ish? I got my mom to drive me here."

"Wow... Did you have to wake her up?"

"No, she was up writing an essay for one of her college courses."

"I see. What kind of classes is she taking?"

"I think she's studying for a Bachelor's in medical science."

"Very cool."

"I guess, yeah."

They continued eating, a bit of an awkward silence descending upon them. When they finished, Cyrus's mom collected the dishes to go wash them, and Cyrus got up to clean the table, which TJ helped with, and the boys retreated to Cyrus's room.

Cyrus gestured at the TV. "Mario Kart?"

"Hell yeah!"

 

 

About 2 months later, Cyrus and TJ were still going strong. His parents still fought sometimes, but nowadays not all of it was about him. And when it was, TJ always came over and hugged and kissed and cuddled him until he felt better. Jonah, Andi, and Walker occasionally sat with them at lunch. Buffy and Walker had broken up on relatively good terms, and it wasn't like he was actively avoiding her... He just didn't hang out with her as often anymore, now that the relationship dynamic was different. 

Marty had come around again. Apparently, he'd been abroad in like Iceland or something. He sat with them occasionally, too. TJ, at first, had been protective of Cyrus, but after seeing that Marty hadn't wanted to "take his Muffin", they became fast friends and played basketball together. Cyrus went to watch them more often than not to "keep score", when in reality, he just liked to see TJ's glorious athletic muscles in action.

Andi had sort of ex-communicated herself from Buffy. Jonah wasn't ever really super close to her in the first place, but he too stopped talking to her. Cyrus felt a little bad. Buffy's other friends had left her because he'd been bad at communication and she had refused to accept fault for it.

"Hey, Walker, you gonna eat your fries?" Amber asked this across the table. Said boy shook his head and handed them over with a small smile.

Today was one of the days where everyone was there together. TJ was currently leaning against Cyrus, who was eating with one hand and running a hand through TJ's hair with his other. It was sort of an awkward angle, but it was somehow still comfortable. 

"Marty, catch!" Andi said this and then threw a fry at Marty's face. It hit him on the cheekbone then fell to his tray, and he pulled a faux-indignant expression.

"You didn't give me enough warning! Again!"

"Fine, but I'm not wasting all my fries on you." Andi tossed another one, and Marty caught it in his mouth, almost falling off the bench in the process. He laughed as he pulled himself back up properly, and everyone else laughed as well, in varying levels of volume. 

Their laughter died down abruptly as a clack sounded against their table, and Buffy was suddenly sitting next to Jonah, quiet and stoic. After a moment, she nodded at Cyrus. He smiled at her and nodded back. He didn't expect an apology from her, but even if he had, he'd have known that that nod was as close as he'd get to one. TJ looked about ready to growl at her, but Cyrus silenced any and all complaints he would have by giving him a quick kiss to the lips.

Amber wolf-whistled, and everyone, including Buffy, burst out laughing. It was a bit tense still, but he was certain that it would get better. All things do, as long as you wait it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might end it here... Seems like a good spot to stop and move on to other works, yeah? Like the alternate ending (angsty version), or that Hogwarts AU I may have mentioned in one of the last chapters... 😗
> 
> But I guess... Bye for now? ❤


End file.
